


Send our love to its reward down in hell

by hyenateeth



Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: F/F, Mid-Canon, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Rough Sex, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-16 10:59:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13052634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyenateeth/pseuds/hyenateeth
Summary: “Oh my god, you are such a narcissist! And if you think we’re going to do that thing where we’re arguing and then suddenly it’s like, ‘woah, this is hot,’ and we start making out then dream on sister because-““Oh will you please shut up!” interrupted Tahani, before grabbing Eleanor and tugging her in for a kiss.





	Send our love to its reward down in hell

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Rachael Sabotini (wickedwords)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wickedwords/gifts).



> Set during attempt 218, aka when Eleanor and Tahani were set up as soulmates. Happy Yuletide!

Here’s the thing. Eleanor had been successfully keeping her secret – the secret that she didn’t actually belong in The Good Place – from Tahani for 3 months now. She was a pretty forking good liar if she did say so herself – which, okay, maybe that was part of why she didn’t belong in The Good Place to begin with. But whatever.

The point was, she had been keeping up the charade pretty well – and hadn’t even felt that bad about it. Tahani may be her soulmate, since Tahani could also be a real selfish bench sometimes. If Eleanor had told Tahani the first day, like she had planned on doing, she was sure she would be in The Bad Place right now. There was no way Tahani would have been able to keep her beautiful, perfect mouth shut about it. Surely, she reasoned, it was all Tahani’s fault Eleanor _had_ to lie to her. If little Miss Good Place had been a better soulmate on the day they had been introduced by Michael and not just talked about herself for 15 minutes straight, maybe Eleanor wouldn’t be lying to her at all.

She didn’t even like Tahani that much anyway. Sure she was a smoking hot giraffe of pure sexiness, and she had hugged Eleanor once and smelled like the springtime, and when she smiled she lit up the whole room – but that was so not the point. She also hated Tahani’s smug, perfect face, so there.

So, she wasn’t going to tell Tahani her secret, no matter how much Chidi said it was wrong. 

Except. Well.

She kept having urges to, pangs of guilt she had to crush down by pinging Janet and asking her for more shrimp until her whole house smelled like seafood.

Forking Chidi. Getting in her head with all this “good person” and “lying is wrong” bullshirt. The audacity. The nerve.

Which would have been fine – Eleanor’s new strategy was to just avoid Tahani, which was actually pretty difficult with Tahani staying in her place all the time (though Tahani’s house was an old fashioned cottage with no electricity , so yeah, Eleanor wouldn’t want to stay there either), but she was making due. She was also wondering if you could overdose on shrimp.

So it was all going fine, excellent, peachy. It was fine. Eleanor was fine, lying to the woman who might be her soulmate.

And then came the mandatory couples “staycation”.

Honestly. Staycation. Did The Good Place have to be so corny?

Of course, she knew the real reason was the fact that lemon pepper flavored vines and trees kept bursting out of _Stranger Wings_ , the vegan “chicken” wing place, and trying to grab people – and Chidi was insisting it was cause Eleanor had hidden her plate of baked lemon pepper cauliflower wings instead of eating it while calling it “plant food,” “an insult to chickens everywhere,” and “like eating the forest”. Whatever. Chidi was right of course, but whatever. Wasting food wasn’t even _that_ unethical, so why was she being punished by being forced to spend a weekend locked up with her soulmate?

* * *

Eleanor made it a day – not quite 24 hours of avoiding her soulmate in her own home, and that was sort of an accomplishment in and of itself. But she could only pretend to take so many naps to avoid talking, and Tahani was obviously going stir crazy with no adoring entourage to make her the center of attention. The lockdown had happened in the evening – so at least Eleanor had the sweet release of sleep for a few hours. And at least Tahani didn’t insist on sleeping in the same bed as her. She had suggested it their first week in The Good Place, but Eleanor had successfully convinced her that she kicked in her sleep (which wasn’t actually a lie), so Tahani had her own bed pinged into existence by Janet, with embroidered silk sheets and a canopy. It was honestly kind of an eyesore, but also sometimes Eleanor slept in it when Tahani was out giving flowers to everyone in the neighborhood, or whatever it was she did.

By the next evening though, Eleanor knew this was becoming a problem. And she wasn’t even surprised when the fight started.

It had gone like this.

Tahani had flounced into the living room, as much as you could with Eleanor’s stupid house layout, babbling on about something to do with the vines and how it was ruining her latest plans for whatever party she wanted to throw this week, and when Eleanor had zoned out, wondering if in The Bad Place solitary confinement was a punishment, she had asked, “Eleanor, are you listening?”

“Hmm? Oh yeah, totally.”

“ _Eleanor_.” Tahani tutted, her face screwed up in a pout. “You aren’t even listening to me. 

“Not really,” admitted Eleanor, not bothering to seem sheepish.

“Honestly Eleanor, you keep ignoring me – I swear I’ve barely seen you this past week. Has something been going on?”

“Its nothing,” grumbled Eleanor. “Don’t worry about it.” 

“Well it’s clearly not nothing –“

“Will you leave it alone!” snapped Eleanor, standing to leave the room. She couldn’t deal with this right now.

Unfortunately, Tahani seemed to have other ideas, because before she knew it she was grabbing Eleanor’s wrist, not hard, but Eleanor still found herself stopping in her tracks.

“No, you can’t keep avoiding me Eleanor!” insisted Tahani. “I thought being forced to spend time together would make you relax, after all what’s more soothing than mandatory relaxation time, but you’re still acting like this! What’s going on with you?”

“I told you, it’s none of your business!”

“I am your soulmate! Of course it’s my business!”

“Its super not!” Eleanor was getting flustered, and the truth was at the tip of her tongue. She couldn’t tell Tahani though, she couldn’t.

“I just don’t know why you keep shutting me out-“

And the next thing Eleanor knew, before she could stop herself, the dreaded words were coming out of her mouth.

“Its because I don’t belong here!”

Tahani stopped dead in her tracks, releasing Eleanor's hand and taking a step back. She looked like she had seen a ghost, or someone wearing socks with sandals.

“You… You what now?”

Eleanor wished she could turn back, but just like the time she had got onstage at a Las Vegas Britney Spears show, there was no turning back until a security guard tackled her.

“I don’t belong here,” she repeated, not yelling this time. “There was a mistake. I wasn’t a human rights lawyer who also rehabilitated injured birds in my spare time. I was a phone salesperson from Arizona, and the closest I ever got to an injured bird was the time I punched a seagull who was trying to steal my sandwich. Chidi’s been trying to help me become a better person but… yeah.”

Tahani just gaped at her, already large eyes even wider than normal.

Eleanor sighed. What would Chidi want her to say?

“Look, I know this is a lot to take in, but-“

“I knew it!” Tahani interrupted her, the loudest and most undignified Eleanor had ever seen her. “I knew it! I knew you weren’t the ‘best person’ like Michael said you were! I knew there was no way _you_ had a better score than _me_!”

It was Eleanor’s turn to be taken aback, but she recovered much quicker. Okay, fork whatever Chidi would want her to do. It was time to get petty up in this bench.

“What? Are you still on about that stupid sash?”

“Well apparently it was a sash of lies now wasn’t it?”

“I didn’t even want the sash-“

“Then why not give it to me-“

“Oh my forking god, why is everything always about you Tahani!”

“Who was it about when you spent the last two months lying to me?”

Eleanor threw her hands up in frustration.

“Oh my god, you really don’t get it do you? You can’t see past your own self interest! See, this is why I didn’t tell you!” 

(She sounded like Chidi when she said that, but she tried not to think about that.)

“Oh you’re one to talk about self interest – you lied to get into The Good Place!”

“Hey, I never said that!” snapped Eleanor. “There was a _mistake_ – its not like I masterminded this.”

“Oh, The Good Place just made a mistake?” Tahani advanced on Eleanor, and they were very close now, up in each other’’s faces. “How would that even happen?”

“I don’t know – It was Michael’s first neighborhood , and maybe-“ 

Eleanor stopped herself short. There was a theory she had been working on, one she hadn’t even told Chidi.

“Maybe what?”

“Maybe… I don’t know!” Fork it. “Maybe we’re still soulmates, and that made the system mess up.”

Tahani faltered visibly. For a moment, her face seemed to open, and she looked confused, vulnerable – then she looked away.

“Well Eleanor, I’m sure you wish that-“

“Oh my god!”

“I’m just saying it makes sense that you’re in love with me, I mean, who wouldn’t be, but you still deceived me, and made me an accomplice in your little scheme! Really Eleanor, did you even think about how this would affect me?”

Eleanor wanted to explode, but also she was so close to Tahani now – could smell her perfume that she knew Tahani wore even though she claimed she didn’t, and honestly, all the yelling had kind of turned her on. And Tahani’s pupil were blown, and her skin was flushed – so she wondered if she felt the same.                                          

“Oh my god, you are such a narcissist! And if you think we’re going to do that thing where we’re arguing and then suddenly it’s like, ‘woah, this is hot,’ and we start making out then dream on sister because-“

“Oh will you please shut up!” interrupted Tahani, before grabbing Eleanor and tugging her in for a kiss.

It was a little awkward, because Eleanor was standing on her toes and Tahani was leaning down almost a foot, but Eleanor threw herself into it, kissing Tahani’s perfectly soft lips as roughly as she could, biting, then biting again harder when Tahani bit back.

The kiss was long and deep, and Eleanor didn’t want it to end, but eventually the both pulled back for air, and Eleanor panted, “What… what the fork are we doing?”

“Relieving our tension, I believe,” responded Tahani, ducking down to kiss Eleanor’s neck. “Unless you don’t want to, though I must say, I’ve never slept with someone so small-“ 

“Oh shut the fork up, you know you want this,” snapped Eleanor, before twisting her hand into Tahani’s soft, silky hair and dragging her back down, all the way down until they were tumbling onto the couch, lips locked together.

It stayed rough, the kind of rough that gave Eleanor a thrill, rougher than Eleanor had ever pictured Tahani being capable of. She had always sort of pictured Tahani being a pillow princess – and yeah, she had pictured this. In her imagination she had mostly just pictured Tahani laying there being bossy, which was its own kind of hot, but this was even better. Every ounce of frustration they had come to have for each other was coming out, and Tahani was pulling her hair as Eleanor bit her lip – and it was awesome. Eleanor had had some pretty hot make out sessions in her life – but this definitely topped all of them, even that one with the personal trainer from the gym that she snuck into without paying for a membership. 

There was one problem though.

“God,” she said, tugging at Tahani’s latest dress, something floral and just a little low cut, but way too sturdy and with way too many buttons down the back for Eleanor to properly remove. “Is there a reason you’re clothes are determined to work against me?”

“Don’t tear it!” squealed Tahani, batting her hand away. “We can’t all dress like farmers all the time. 

“You can just get a new one - this is The Good Place.” Eleanor snorted, pulling harder at the dress, only to have her wrists grabbed a second later, Tahani pinning her arms down in a swift movement, and okay, _that_ was hot.

“Eleanor,” she scolded. “Here I am, trying to benefit both of us, and you are making it difficult.”

“It wouldn’t be difficult if you weren’t wearing that dress,” Eleanor responded, lightly resisting Tahani’s grasp, testing its firmness. Tahani didn’t budge, and yeah, that was super hot. 

“Well I am not simply going to strip for you and… _fornicate_ on your couch-“

“What are we even doing here then?”

“- _But_ ,” Tahani continued, undeterred. “If we were to move to your bed like civilized persons, perhaps we could continue.”

Eleanor didn’t need to be told twice.

So they stumbled over to her bed (tripping over the stupid step to her bedroom in the process of course) and then Tahani was unbuttoning her dress, exposing her smooth skin, and Eleanor leaned back, watching. Maybe she could be the pillow princess in this scenario.

Except not, cause she still was wired with anger and frustration and a swirl of other various emotions she didn’t want to think about, and she really just wanted to screw until they were both bruised and too exhausted to fight anymore. So, while lazy sex where she barely had to do any work normally would have been appealing, it wouldn’t cut it today.

So when Tahani’s dress hit the floor Eleanor was already stripping her jeans and t-shirt off, and then they pounced on each other again, tumbling back on to the bed, Tahani once again on top of Eleanor. And as much as she hated to admit it, Tahani was right, this was better, being in the bed.

Eleanor wrapped her legs around Tahani’s waist, her hands groping everywhere she could reach. Tahani, for her part, had one hand balled in Eleanor’s hair, the other grabbing her breast – over the bra though, and okay, the fact that they were both still in their underwear was annoying.

So, she focused on undoing the clasp of Tahani’s white lace bra ( _which was harder than it looked dang it_ ) and then when that was done, took the opportunity to grab the taller woman and flip their positions, enjoying Tahani’s undignified squawk as she was rolled on to her back and straddled by Eleanor.

“This is going too slow,” she snapped, reaching back to undo her own bra, a much simpler grey cotton number.

“You Americans are so impatient, and… crass,” scoffed Tahani, faltering a little at the end as Eleanor’s breasts were exposed, her eyes lingering heavy on the bared flesh. _Tahani you horndog_ Eleanor laughed inwardly. She knew she had a pretty great rack after all – maybe not as big as Tahani’s, but they were definitely still killer tits.

“Like what you see?” she teased, and then actually laughed out loud when Tahani actually blushed. “Well are you going to touch them or not?”

“Crass,” repeated Tahani, before sitting up to press her palms over Eleanor’s already hard nipples, rubbing over them insistently, leaning in to bite her neck.

Eleanor gasped, then moaned, then decided payback was fair game, pinching one of Tahani’s nipples, giggling breathlessly again when the woman yelped but did not pull away, and then yelping herself when Tahani returned the gesture.

Eleanor could feel herself getting wet against Tahani’s leg, and she wondered why exactly she had refrained from doing this for so long. Guilt was the answer, she supposed, but she was done with that now. Now, she just wanted to grind on Tahani’s leg.

So she did, rocking her hips and moaning into Tahani’s mouth, and Tahani pressed her leg up to give her better traction, and yeah, this was so much better than any jerk off session she had had in the last couple months, even if Janet could provide her with any porn she wanted.

They continued like that for a moment, and Eleanor was so wired she swore that give her a little time and she could come just from this, underwear still on and everything – but then she bit Tahani’s lip and pulled her hair just a little harder than before, and Tahani actually growled in response, grabbing her wrists, and then Eleanor was the one being flipped over and swiftly pinned to the bed. 

“Eleanor,” she said, forcing eye contact. “This entire time we have resided together you have been uncouth, messy, loud, and entirely frustrating.” 

“Oh yeah baby, talk dirty to me.”

“But most frustrating part is that you consistently shut me out, ignored me, and apparently, lied to me. You were meant to be my soulmate, but you refused to let me in.” Tahani squeezed Eleanor’s wrists. “Well, from now on I am not letting you. You won’t exclude me from this anymore. 

“Yeah, yeah,” said Eleanor, thrusting her hips up, trying to made contact with anything. “I get it, you’re in charge now, now will you just-“ 

“ _Hush_.” 

And then Tahani let go of one of Eleanor’s hands and reached down, sliding her hand under Eleanor’s panties. Eleanor gasped and bucked again as long fingers rubbed the length of folds, her free hand grabbing Tahani’s shoulder, the other one struggling, but unmoving.

“Oh _fork_!” she moaned, then bit her tongue, slightly embarrassed by the nonsensical censorship The Good Place imposed on her. It was much harder to talk dirty when she couldn’t swear, without sounding like an idiot.

Tahani didn’t seem phased though, and to her credit, didn’t just laugh at Eleanor. In fact she just rubbed a bit more over Eleanor’s clit, producing another moan from her, so she assumed it was all good.

“More,” she gasped. “ _Harder_.” She wanted Tahani to rub her raw, rough and passionate and maybe even a little painful. She wanted Tahani to fuck her hard – and luckily Tahani seemed to be on the same page, because then two fingers slipped inside her the next second, curling and thrusting into her, making Eleanor tremble with pleasure.

“Yeah,” encouraged Eleanor, voice wavering. “Yeah, like that – ah! Harder you stuck up bench, come on-" 

“You are so aggravating,” groaned Tahani, finally releasing Eleanor’s hand, which was kind of a relief and kind of disappointing, so she could tug down her underwear, Eleanor lifting her hips so they could be fully removed.

Of course Tahani was good at this too, Eleanor thought – she was so close, so wet, and Tahani’s talented forking fingers were rubbing against her g-spot insistently, and then she took her other hand and started rubbing her clit, just a little too rough, the way Eleanor wanted it. It was overwhelming, and she found herself grasping at the sheets, eyes screwed shut, thrusting her own hips mindlessly into Tahani’s hands. 

“ _Eleanor_ ,” Tahani moaned, saying it just to say it, her voice sounding raw and vulnerable, and Eleanor forced her eyes open to look at the woman above her.

Her face was open, eyes wide as she stared at Eleanor writhing, a strange look on it. She recognized that look. When she had been alive on Earth, she would sometimes break up with guys who looked at her like that during sex. It was too much pressure, too soft, and in the past, Eleanor had hated it.

She didn’t hate it now, and she kind of hated that more.

So she rolled her hips aggressively, grinding into Tahani’s hand. “Come on,” groaned. “Are you going to make me come or not?”

It worked. Tahani frowned, then thrust into her even harder, making Eleanor yelp. “I thought I was in charge now? No need to be bossy Eleanor.”

“Well if you’re in charge forking act like it!”

“Oh? Like this?” 

And then she shifted, moving her free hand away from Eleanor’s clit so she could lean over her, so her hand was at a different angle. Before Eleanor could complain about the change, Tahani started thrusting again, and Eleanor shouted. The new angle was so much better, the pressure was so intense, and even without anything on her clit Eleanor could feel herself throbbing, teetering at the edge of orgasm. 

Desperately she reached down, fingers finding her own clit, rubbing frantically as Tahani pounded into her, and then a second later she was thrusting her hips up, attempting release a string of curses that was mostly just coming out as an unintelligible word salad, and coming harder then she had in ages.

As the world spun around her she could distantly hear Tahani moaning as Eleanor clenched around her fingers, but she ignored that, focusing instead on the way she couldn’t stop twitching as she came down, gasping and panting, throat dry from shouting. 

For a minute, everything stood still, quiet and calm as Eleanor let her breathing settle, untangling her hand from the sheets she had nearly pulled off the bed. Tahani stayed inside her for that minute, before carefully pulling out, and looking around for something to wipe her hand on.

“We should have grabbed a towel,” she complained, holding her hand up awkwardly, and Eleanor rolled her eyes. 

“Whatever babe, sex is supposed to be messy. Just wipe it on the bed.”

“Eleanor, that’s so-" 

“Dirty? Isn’t that the point?” 

Tahani actually blushed at that, then, delicately, wiped her hand on Eleanor’s bedspread. Eleanor laughed.

“Guess I’m already a bad influence on you." 

“I suppose so.”

Tahani was kneeling on the bed, rubbing her thighs together subtlety, but Eleanor noticed, and her mouth watered.

Lazily she sat up, sinking her hands into Tahani’s hair.

“Hey,” she mumbled. “I think its your turn.”

And before Tahani could respond, she was pushing her down, and crawling over her.

Eleanor was too far gone for much more foreplay, and Tahani seemed to be feeling the same, based on the way she squirmed and whined as Eleanor kissed and bit down her body, sinking her teeth into soft breasts and stomach. So she wasted no time reaching Tahani’s hips, biting them just to hear Tahani yelp, before yanking down the woman’s panties – and god, Tahani was wet.

“Eleanor,” breathed Tahani, in that same vulnerable tone as before, and Eleanor quickly cut her off.

“Shut up.”

And then she buried her face into Tahani’s cunt.

It was quick but intense. Tahani was so sensitive, way more than Eleanor was, and she squirmed and cried every time Eleanor pressed her tongue to her clit. She was so close, just from fucking Eleanor, and Eleanor was totally going to let that go to her head.

“Eleanor,” chanted Tahani. “Eleanor, Eleanor, Eleanor-“

“Yeah baby,” she groaned in response as she briefly pulled her face away, biting Tahani’s thighs between words. “Say my name.”

Then she pressed her fingers into Tahani, and dipped her head again, attaching her mouth to her clit, and a second later Tahani _howled_ , her entire body seizing as she came. It was messy and undignified – and Eleanor loved it.

She pulled away, her face and hand soaked, before collapsing face first next to Tahani, who was still panting.

They laid there in silence for a long moment, breathing heavily, before Tahani broke the silence.

“You’re still infuriating,” she said, gasping. 

“Back at you babe.”

“I won’t tell anyone though.”

Eleanor peeked up from where she had planted her face into the bed. “Really?”

Tahani furrowed her lovely brows. “Of course – it would reflect poorly on me, wouldn’t it. And it wouldn’t feel much like The Good Place without a soulmate."

“Hmm. Right.” There was something in the back of Eleanor’s mind, a doubt. There was something about here, about The Good Place… but she couldn’t put her finger on it. So she didn’t say anything, continuing to push it to the back of her mind. 

“Besides, you said Chidi was helping you. Who knows, maybe he can help you become as good a person as I am one day!”

Eleanor rolled her eyes and let her head fall back down into the bed. “Whatever you say Tahani.”

She was feeling particularly lazy and boneless at the moment, and even though it was the middle of the day, she could probably go for a nap. She was half asleep when Tahani broke the silence again.

“Eleanor?” asked Tahani.

“Yeah?”

“Does this mean we can share a bed from now on?”

“Hmm. Maybe. As long as it’s yours. …And I really do kick, that wasn’t a lie.”

Tahani giggled, and for the first time since she had arrived in The Good Place, being Tahani’s soulmate didn’t feel like torture.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally I wanted this to be just part of a much longer fic, about the entirety of attempt 218, but for time and length I condensed it to just the fun (aka porny) part. I hope you like it! 
> 
> Title is from the song "Fault Lines" by the Mountain Goats.
> 
> Come say hello at my [tumblr](http://hyenateeth.tumblr.com/)!


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